So, so much has happened since I last updated this blog.
So without sounding like I'm wallowing in self pity, me and my boyfriend of 3 years split up, and it was horrible and difficult and sad.
On the upside, BOY does the heartbreak diet work.
I went from being genuinely bordering on chubby (yes, it really was getting that way, I was creeping back up to my highest weight as seen on my 'before' pics in one of my posts) to being, well.... not chubby. I lost a whole stone and finally went under 8st. Seeing 7 on the scales was the only silver lining of the whole thing. So this is me a few weeks after the break up:
I hit the gym, I joined a band and got into singing again, I started seeing my friends more. And as much as the whole thing was difficult and seeing him move on has really hurt, I'm so glad it all happened. And as much as yes, I didn't particularly lose the weight in a steady or healthy way (I had no appetite at all) I did get a lot of other aspects of my life together.
And it made me realise, the whole time I'd been clinging on to this relationship and really, it was holding me back. But I was scared to let it go because I was scared to be alone. But sometimes, when the one thing you've been so afraid of actually happens, it's the most liberating feeling of all.
And then I lost my job.
But because of the lesson I'd just learned, I really really did not care. I could see that my job wasn't going particularly well. I wasn't enjoying it or feeling inspired by it, so I wasn't trying very hard to keep it. And I probably could have fought for it but I really didn't want to. And if I'm honest, right now I feel totally free.
So now I want adventure. And maybe it's shallow, and totally based on some unrealistic idea that I've got from movies and books, but I want to be that girl with braids in her hair that travels around in an old rickety campervan without a care.
So here's to the next chapter.
