10 things I miss about being skinny.

10 Things I miss about being skinny.

Here are my 10 (mostly incredibly shallow) things I miss about being skinny:

1. I miss the way that all my actions seemed more elegant. Even just sitting curled up on the sofa, moving around, it all looked dainty and delicate rather than hefty and clumsy.

2. People seemed to be more respectful of me, instead of just seeing me as a tough cookie who can handle banter, people treated me more gently, like I was too fragile and breakable to get casually insulted or joked about. 

3. When I got all dressed up for a night out, even revealing clothes didn't look trashy. This is from personal experience, as since I've gained weight I seem to curve in and out pretty dramatically. Instead of having little boobs and slender legs, I've got massive boobs, a huge bum, round thighs. I look slutty in all the little dresses I used to wear, I've got curves all over the shop and not only does it makes guys think it's ok to grope you, grind on you, hit on you etc, it also makes girls look at you with that nasty 'ew you're an attention seeking whore' face. I never used to get that when I was thin! I used to get girls either compliment me, or ask me where I got my dress from, or just look at me with a faint look of admiration/awe. Just being at a higher weight has changed my whole experience of going out partying!

4. On the same note, clothes in general looked better when I was skinny. I feel like now I'm bigger, winter clothes just look bulky and I feel like a wide, stumpy snowman when bundled up in a big warm coat and scarf. I used to just look kind of cosy and cute! Summer clothes look terrible on me too. I'd love to be able to throw on a tank top and some tiny shorts and just look pretty and summery, rather than an embarrassing mound of fat barely covered by some clearly too-small clothes. I honestly don't even know what to wear anymore. It takes me so long to get dressed in the morning. Everything looks bad.

5. Being able to pull off the whole "I'm just like you guys, I eat loads" act with style. Before, if I ever lied and boasted about eating three cheeseburgers in one week, people used to be like 'Oh that's so cool how she's so down to earth about food yet maintains that perfect figure!'

Now people just think 'Ergh. You're gross. Stop going on about how you eat so much and just.... stop eating so much."

6. Being relaxed about being touched and not feeling the need to sit/lie in weird positions when cuddling up to my boyfriend. My weight seems to dominate the way I will let myself sit. If me and him and cuddling up in bed, I'll lie in a way that makes it easier to me to breathe in and cover my stomach with my arm. If he touches my stomach I just tense up and feel so uncomfortable.

7. The way that when you're thin, people automatically assume you're interesting. If you're quiet, they wonder what you're thinking, whether you're okay. 

8. The way you can pull off the 'scruffy' look without just looking like a cheap chav who has let herself go and can't be bothered with herself. I feel like now I'm bigger, unless my hair is styled and tidy, and my make-up is fresh and neat, I just look... skanky. Before, I could throw my hair into a scruffy bun, chuck on a baggy t-shirt and some shorts, and still look kind of stylish and cool. Even if my make-up smudged or my hair got blown around in the wind, or I was wearing a really plain scruffy outfit, my tiny legs and defined face made it look 'shabby chic' and deliberate.

9. Looking around a room and realising you're the smallest one there.

10. Feeling actually good at something.